I pondered what was true sadness.
Can some people be more rightfully or genuinely sad
At what point can a persons suffering or sadness mature?
I then looked at what stereotypically made certain groups upset
Babies @ a dirty diaper
Children @ the confiscation of candy
Teenagers @ a boyfriend dumping them
Adults @ a lost job
Grandparents @ losing a friend or loved one
It seems to be as one get older, the stereotypes become less superficial and more emotional.
Then if we look across the culture line, the younger years become far less superficial
like a teenager in ethiopia would probably stereotypically be saddened by lack of food, shelter and perhaps parents.
But does that make the sadness of the teenager crying over a boyrfriend less 'worthy'
it certainly wont seem that way to the now-single teenager.
but then what if we escape the stereotype and say that this particular teenager
has been dating said boy since they were tiny tots
and one day, this girl realises that she has no idea who she is without identifying herself the boy
and so decides to break up with the boy, who she still may be in love with, but just needs time for herself
and the boyfriend over reacts and says that he hates her
which then makes the already emotionally straining ordeal even worse
does this same "teenager crying over a boyfriend" scenario then become more 'legitimately' sad
one could also argue that all suffering and sadness is relative to the subject and circumstances in each case.
i would have to say that i agree with this
which is why it infuriates me when people say 'you shouldn't be upset, there are people starving in ethiopia'
Yes i feel sorry for those people, and i want to help them
but its almost irrelevant to me day to day life because a. its so far away and hence b. i have a completely different set of values and circumstances than someone in ethiopia or other 3rd world country.
However, i do think that there is a line between superficial sadness and really, core shattering sadness
and there is a point in a persons life (and hopefully everyones lives) when they begin to look at the world a little differently and understand really DEEPLY and TRULY what they want from life and the people around them.
It this sophistication of sadness that is my focus (at the moment- no doubt it will change about a million times yet)
It could be a divorce or a death or just something that shakes your normal routine and makes you take a step back, reassess and really deeply consider EVERYTHING.
this re-assessment and consideration then becomes my 'transmutation'. taking whats already there and creating new meaning.
The end product, is a more understanding, empathetic and hopefully less superficial you.
Congratulations.